Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Hoshino Katsura.


Chapitre Deux: Mr Private Investigator


Steam rose steadily from a cup of rose tea. He sighed; content and soothed by the sweet scent. Just as he was about to lift the lovely cup to his lips…The door was flying open with a smash. “Oi baka usagi, are you in?” A tall and beautiful man strode in gracefully as if he did not just kick the door open. Lavi fumbled with his cup, nearly dropping it due to shock. He swore colourfully as some of the scalding tea spilt on his hand.

“Did you have to do that, Yu? That’s the fifth door in two months! Do you have a grudge against my door? Or is it that you won’t let me have my tea in peace? You nearly made me broke the teacup Tyki gave me! And you got me a burn too!” “Don’t call me by my first name!” Kanda snapped, ignoring the rest of the accusations thrown to him.

“Right, by the way, do you want any tea?” Lavi offered another cup, but Kanda declined. “I have an urgent job for you.” “Right…I hope it won’t be like last time, when you demanded me to find the best sheath maker just because your Mugen’s sheath had a chip,” Lavi rolled his eyes while sipping from his cup, his burnt hand now resting in a bowl of cold water. Kanda growled at the hidden insult at his most prized katana, but grudges were saved for later. Now he had a Cinderella case on his hands. “I need you to find a person for me,” Kanda started, which immediately grabbed Lavi’s attention.

“Oh my GOD, finally!! Who is it, Yu?! A missing ex-lover? A man who wronged you? Long lost family member? You can just tell it all to the best PI you’ve ever got!”

Lavi was close to hyperventilation. For the many years they have been friends; well, on Lavi’s side anyway, Kanda always asked little jobs of him, like finding a nice gardener or a good book. These were petty tasks which shouldn’t even be in a private investigator’s list, but Lavi did them anyway because this just proves that Kanda trusted him. But for Kanda to enlist his service for a proper investigation today; it calls for celebration! Someone grab the champagne from the cellar! Better still, cook red bean rice! It was news as great as the first day Lavi lost his virginity!

“Keep your mouth shut, baka usagi! It’s nothing like that! I…met a person during today’s photoshoot. I couldn’t get the address and contact number from work area, and I don’t want to wait so I’m getting you to track it down,” Kanda explained smoothly without breaking out into irritation, or the slightest bit of excitement, since he was VERY sure that Lavi would get the job done, to his very well-hidden glee. Lavi’s mouth curled into a smirk.

“Oh…Has dear Yu-chan finally gotten an eye for a curvy-licious babe? Though, hm…You’ve broken hundred twenty five hearts in three years. Want to scratch up another record number?” “NO. I’m not hunting for a woman. Frankly, they’re a waste of time, nothing but a way to loiter my unneeded hours. I’m looking for a boy,” Kanda regretted not explaining the situation in which why did he need the boy as Lavi started gushing sparkles as if he was a certain very gay chef who was working with the Lee family.

“Y-Yu…Finally…Finally, you’re going to try your luck with a bishounen!! Who is he? How does he look like? Could he be famous? Wait, no. If he was you wouldn’t even need my help of finding him. So? DETAILS!!” Lavi squealed with joy, bouncing off walls with excitement.

“Stop talking like we’re girlfriends in a cheap chick flick!” Kanda growled aloud, tired by Lavi’s hyperactivity and amazingly sidetracked thoughts.

“Whoops, okay! So, give me the details you’ve got so far and I’ll do the rest!” Lavi chirped, now in high spirits.

“He works in Suzumebachi. He delivered takeaway to our photoshoot earlier. I tried to get his contact from his workplace, but his manager refused; said I was one of his fans or something. He’s shorter than me, can’t tell if he was any younger though because he’s got white hair. He has a particular tattoo over his left eye. Looks like hiragana for ‘chi’ and a pentacle above his brow. He’s got silver eyes as well. I don't care how you do it. Just get me all you can on that boy.”

Lavi shut his eyes for a while, committing to memory every bit of extractable information Kanda had told him. He grinned.

“Roger! Hmm...Sparked your interest this time? You're very insistent with this one. With this much clues, consider it done.”

Kanda tried not to smile, but the aura around him mellowed into one of pleasantry. This was why Lavi was nicknamed the Bookman, for his memory and knowledge were vast. “He looks interesting enough to be a good toy. I want the information by the day after tomorrow.” “No need, you can come collect it tomorrow,” the redhead replied and started clearing his desk. “I’ll be having dinner at Tyki’s tomorrow night. Why don’t you join us and I’ll tell you about this case over it?” Kanda rolled his eyes. “You do know when Tyki asks you over for dinner, he expects just the both of you and no ‘third wheel’ like me sticking my nose in where I don’t belong?”

“Aww, Tyki-pon doesn’t mind company. The more, the merrier! Besides, I’m sure he’s pretty interested in this boy you’ve got your eyes on too. After all, it’s not everyday Japan’s sexiest supermodel proclaims interest in the same sex. So, what part of him snared your attention? Is he very good-looking? Or was he acting like a stuck-up bitch that you just had to put him down? Ugh…Reminds me of the stalker that you got the court to put a restraining order on. She was off her rockers, that one. Oh, maybe the boy has appealed to your beastly instincts?” Lavi prattled on and on as he washed his tea set and set them to dry.

Kanda got up and dusted his pants.

“Yeah right, and I rape every boy I see,” Kanda retorted sarcastically.

“No, you don’t but you bed nearly every woman who’s willing. It’s nearly the same thing. And you still haven’t answered my question,” the investigator pressed on as he locked up his office. “I don’t know,” the Japanese stubbornly insisted, but his Korean-European friend grinned wickedly. “When you get stubbornly immovable with me, I know you want to say something incredibly honest and corny at the same time. Spill it.” “No frickkin’ way,” Kanda snuffed, but Lavi clung at his waist and started mock-sobbing. “I’m your BESTEST BEST ONE AND ONLY SPECIAL UNIQUE ONE-OF-A-KIND BESTEST FRIEND you’ve got!! Why won’t you tell meeee??”

“Jeez, get off me before Tyki magically appears and accuses me of moving in on his boytoy!” Kanda griped, trying to pry Lavi off him.

“Oooh, boytoy. That sounds kinky but heck, no! Tell me!!” Lavi bawled further.

“FINE! JUST BLOODY LET GO!” Kanda roared, and immediately, Lavi released him and popped into the passenger seat of Kanda’s convertible. “I’m all ears,” he smiled innocently up at Kanda, who cursed every censored word in his vocabulary and jammed his key in. “It…It’s hard to describe. One moment, it was all just one bunch of idiots crowding around, and then suddenly, they part and this…creature was looking at me. I can’t call him a human that time because he was too brilliant to be one. It’s like they put high lights behind him and made him glow or something,"

"But he looked away as soon as he saw me. I’m not being a narcissist but hell; I know I’m better looking than run-of-the-mill jocks in this area. It made me annoyed for some reason that he treated me as if I’m nobody. Does he even know who I am? Even fashionably inept should know.” Without knowing, Kanda had begun ranting.

“…Yu, you sound as though you’re…jealous,” Lavi started out with a small prod.

“Jealous? Me? HAH, don’t joke!” Kanda made a dangerous swerve, leaving Lavi squashed to the door. That is what the bunny gets if he doesn’t strap himself in, especially with a violent driver like Kanda. “So…Any extra titbits?” Lavi grinned and asked. “…He helped me properly dress and said I have an ice queen personality,” Kanda deadpanned, cringing mentally at the recollection. He was not an ice queen, thank you very much! “Ohoho…It sounds like you’re already very attached to this lad,” The rabbit prompted which brought about another life-endangering turn around the corner as Kanda got increasingly violent with his driving.

“I am not! Why should I be?! He’s only somebody that drew my attention for being so…annoying!!”

“Denial is the stage that comes before acceptance.”

“Stop pulling shrink crap on me!”

Kanda came to an abrupt halt before a cluster of condominiums. “Get out,” he grunted, praying with every fibre of his being that Mugen would magically appear and allow him to cut Lavi into microscopic pieces. Lavi hopped out cheerfully. “Thanks for the lift home! Don’t forget, tomorrow at Tyki’s, seven!” And the investigator went off, whistling as he did. Kanda’s forehead hit the steering wheel.

Never fully rely on a private investigator, even when they were best friends.

ESPECIALLY one who dates a professional gambler.